I had an episode

I’ve finally figure out that the seal in my bathroom window isn’t the best . I saw a spider underneath my vanity in bathroom after seeing a tiny baby spider … And decided to find the mother of the pests.

My seal to my window is horrendous it towards the top of the ceiling so I never look or see how bad it acctualy is. I decided that clearing everything off my counter and placing it under either where it belongs it’s a great idea then I shall wipe and clean off the counter top . That leads to cleaning the floor. But befor I do all of that work I might as well go from the bottom to the top.

Starting at the window seal I notice there’s a ton of dirt clods and also brown seas type things so I sweep them off with my tiny dust panand proceed to spray with the ever so blessed complete bleach spray to remove the mildew from taking previous showers . That lead to an unforgiving headache . I continue to wipe down every wall and every corner with a wet rag and relies I need to clean the toilet as well. But that will be last because lord knows if your excited about cleaning toilets first your oddly disgusting and a morbid human.

I find that by doing all of this I am feeling more clean , secure , and safe in my bathroom . No more mildew , baby spiders and soon to be sparkling toilet .

I am a very clean person with good hi-gene indeed but sometime it goes to the extreme with certain issues . This time just the one spider set me off into A complete different world . I’m content with being extremely clean but if you were some fly on the wall examining why I need to get every crack and corner and excessively wash your hands with soap and water after every surface, might be thinking this is more then just a normal ” oh she’s cleaning her bathroom” you might think ” this chick is insane. ”

So by this time I’m cleaning away window open from all the fumes and I proceed to whipe all surfaces again and double check if I’ve missed anything . Now that was just a beginning of it . I relised my trash is contaminated so I better take it out side. Then I wash all my cloths over again and wash my hand repeatedly untill they are burning hot witch makes me feel cleansed .

My boyfriends asleep on the couch during my excursion of purge cleaning the bathroom and honestly it might have been better then sex. Since that the whole reason I realized I could clean my entire bathroom with zero disruption.

All in all I am an obsessive and very compulsive human being . I’m just grateful I’m not a pill popping junky at some stupid party on a Friday night .

I’m done.

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Updating to a new level

In referring to a relationship, I feel that I am still learning the true sense of the word. A relation is something that you are interested in, and for myself I keep working towards that interest in the mystery of what is a true happy relationship. We all have hardships and we all have struggles and a true friend and confident will always be there for you, that is an awesome relationship with somebody that is always there for you no matter what kind of circumstances go with it.

I haven’t written in a long time and over the past couple weeks I haven’t been feeling well and I’ve had to go to the doctor twice I have been helping my grandmother out a lot and also working on my own personal relationship and my relationship with my boyfriend. Instead of being so worried all the time about what other people are doing and having all of that interest in others rather than spending time with my other half I have gotten to slow down a lot over the past couple weeks and really look at my actions through his eyes. Seeing things from a different perspective isn’t easy commonly it doesn’t come naturally to me. I tend to be very selfish and extremely immediate with other people .

I’ve been building a small yet very extremely tiny foundation on which I would like to one day call a tomb of greatness. The past few weeks have not been easy and looking at my ability of a selfish destruction is just admitting that I can only be one person yet be the best person I know I can be . At this time I’m making a list of the women I want to be and in that list there are immense amounts of spiritual goals. Goals of acceptance and to be positive influence to help others when they are struggling.

Humiliation

Sometimes we don’t think of others.
Sometimes were needy and also forgetful of how grateful we truly are . Only in life we can learn lessons and set common goals in relationships. Discussing any issues we may have and being honest is all we can really do without taking responsibility for the other persons reactions .
If there’s any doubt of meaning to hurt the other person with truth then rethink what you need to say . Healthy boundaries are saying your honest feelings about, privacy, general distaste in certain incidents that might have happened that put a bump into that relationship.