Life

Isn’t such a roller coaster anymore . Or a sinking ship .

20140505-001601.jpg

Advertisements

I had an episode

I’ve finally figure out that the seal in my bathroom window isn’t the best . I saw a spider underneath my vanity in bathroom after seeing a tiny baby spider … And decided to find the mother of the pests.

My seal to my window is horrendous it towards the top of the ceiling so I never look or see how bad it acctualy is. I decided that clearing everything off my counter and placing it under either where it belongs it’s a great idea then I shall wipe and clean off the counter top . That leads to cleaning the floor. But befor I do all of that work I might as well go from the bottom to the top.

Starting at the window seal I notice there’s a ton of dirt clods and also brown seas type things so I sweep them off with my tiny dust panand proceed to spray with the ever so blessed complete bleach spray to remove the mildew from taking previous showers . That lead to an unforgiving headache . I continue to wipe down every wall and every corner with a wet rag and relies I need to clean the toilet as well. But that will be last because lord knows if your excited about cleaning toilets first your oddly disgusting and a morbid human.

I find that by doing all of this I am feeling more clean , secure , and safe in my bathroom . No more mildew , baby spiders and soon to be sparkling toilet .

I am a very clean person with good hi-gene indeed but sometime it goes to the extreme with certain issues . This time just the one spider set me off into A complete different world . I’m content with being extremely clean but if you were some fly on the wall examining why I need to get every crack and corner and excessively wash your hands with soap and water after every surface, might be thinking this is more then just a normal ” oh she’s cleaning her bathroom” you might think ” this chick is insane. ”

So by this time I’m cleaning away window open from all the fumes and I proceed to whipe all surfaces again and double check if I’ve missed anything . Now that was just a beginning of it . I relised my trash is contaminated so I better take it out side. Then I wash all my cloths over again and wash my hand repeatedly untill they are burning hot witch makes me feel cleansed .

My boyfriends asleep on the couch during my excursion of purge cleaning the bathroom and honestly it might have been better then sex. Since that the whole reason I realized I could clean my entire bathroom with zero disruption.

All in all I am an obsessive and very compulsive human being . I’m just grateful I’m not a pill popping junky at some stupid party on a Friday night .

I’m done.

Updating to a new level

In referring to a relationship, I feel that I am still learning the true sense of the word. A relation is something that you are interested in, and for myself I keep working towards that interest in the mystery of what is a true happy relationship. We all have hardships and we all have struggles and a true friend and confident will always be there for you, that is an awesome relationship with somebody that is always there for you no matter what kind of circumstances go with it.

I haven’t written in a long time and over the past couple weeks I haven’t been feeling well and I’ve had to go to the doctor twice I have been helping my grandmother out a lot and also working on my own personal relationship and my relationship with my boyfriend. Instead of being so worried all the time about what other people are doing and having all of that interest in others rather than spending time with my other half I have gotten to slow down a lot over the past couple weeks and really look at my actions through his eyes. Seeing things from a different perspective isn’t easy commonly it doesn’t come naturally to me. I tend to be very selfish and extremely immediate with other people .

I’ve been building a small yet very extremely tiny foundation on which I would like to one day call a tomb of greatness. The past few weeks have not been easy and looking at my ability of a selfish destruction is just admitting that I can only be one person yet be the best person I know I can be . At this time I’m making a list of the women I want to be and in that list there are immense amounts of spiritual goals. Goals of acceptance and to be positive influence to help others when they are struggling.

Humiliation

Sometimes we don’t think of others.
Sometimes were needy and also forgetful of how grateful we truly are . Only in life we can learn lessons and set common goals in relationships. Discussing any issues we may have and being honest is all we can really do without taking responsibility for the other persons reactions .
If there’s any doubt of meaning to hurt the other person with truth then rethink what you need to say . Healthy boundaries are saying your honest feelings about, privacy, general distaste in certain incidents that might have happened that put a bump into that relationship.

Future Floral Buissness

IDEAL NAME :

{{{LeeAna’s Loveliness }}

Gardening and arranging agricultural achritechture runs in my family. Starting in Boston Mass. As my great grandfather was a national award winning agriculture exhibitionist in 1920’s.
He mastered the technique and studying nature with his own eyes and was able to be one who fell in love with nature and nurture of plants and trees.
My Great grandmother was always having anywhere from 40-50 plants that she was growing and consolidation was never an option. She loved them with all her heart. My grandfather was a natural genius being a member of Mensa in 1940 through 1947. His mind was less on nature and growing plants and more on mathematical equations.

As a child my mother always had fern plants and a lot of other house plants .

At age 23 I picked up a seasonal job as a Garden Sales Associate and had been reintroduced to plants and flowers. Perennials and annuals. Living on my own in a small 595 sq. ft one bedroom but yet without any patio we had beautiful rose bushes out front on the side of the building .
At the time I would tend and care for the roses as if they were my personal responsibility . Apparently no one took care if them in 5 years the mail man had shared with me in that amount of time he had worked the mail route to my apartments, located downtown Sacramento, he had never seen any one taking care of the front flower beds expect me .
He explained how pleasant it was to have someone carrying for the roses, for had they been neglected in the past.
Two years latter and having a beautiful home, being blessed and able, I finally have a descent yard to plant as many flowers and bulbs as I possibly can and take proper care of them. I will take advantage of the opportunity to start a business for bouquets for my friends and family.
Ever since I was a little girl I know I have picked flowers for years for all the ones I love . And every when I can not afford to buy an arrangement, I drive around aimlessly for new and blooming secret areas where I know I can go snip off a few good buds.
Concluding the Idea I have for a potential business to get me through online classes in college while working my day job ; witch I love, selling shoes at the local mall. I will be doing lots of research from now on about attributing my energy to floral bouquets.

Poem/song

By LeeAna Gibb

crawling towards the ample hell I’ve created in this life.
speaking towards your spirit for forgiveness .
sitting next to me you can tell I’m lost and will never be found

I’m on my way to heaven you said .
I can’t find the answer to make you happy .
learning that the things we see are not interesting anymore .
but I see in the light I can be forgiven once more .

Written for my grandfather Robert Wetzel

07-04-1922 to 11-05-2011